


Banthas are adorable

by TerresDeBrume



Series: Flash Fic Night Prompts [49]
Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 18:05:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13664394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerresDeBrume/pseuds/TerresDeBrume
Summary: Han has the worst poker face in the Galactic Republic.





	Banthas are adorable

**Author's Note:**

> So, as it turns out, I am incapable of taking 'seductive Han' and not turn it into a 'You tried' meme.

“Smile, darling, we’re supposed to be in love.”

 

Han’s mouth twists and pulls into something that falls closer to a grimace than a smile, he just knows it. He stomps on the urge to drag Lando in by the collar of his shirt, but that’s more because he’s not sure how he’d finish the gesture if he did. It isn’t that he has a problem with what they’re doing, per se. Corellia is kind of backwards, when it comes to same gender relationships, but Han’s been out of there and around enough that the thought of two men together sounds about as threatening as Bantha milk.

 

No, the real problem, here, is that Lando’s fingers on his waist are just a little too warmn, the man’s smile just a little too enticing. The ache in his cheeks is just a little too wide, and if he isn’t careful he’ll lose all sense of measure and overdo it. Who knows what might happen then? Han is only twenty five, too young to have a clear idea what the ‘after’ entails exactly, but he’s been dealing with unknown quantities of risk his whole life. He knows better than to tempt fate when it matters.

 

“Darling,” Lando says again, firmer this time, “you look like I’m trying to kidnap you and savage your virtue. It’s unnerving the mark.”

 

The mark, a rich Togruta in the middle of a Plavalaguna holiday, is indeed looking at them like he’s wondering whether to report an imminent murder. Considering they’re planning to invite him over under the pretense of some three way fun, it’s about as close to the opposite of their goal as it gets.

 

“I can’t do this,” Han hisses at last.

 

Lando’s hand tightens on his hip and, when he turns them so they’re face to face, his face displays the ‘ _you’re supposed to be the one who knows what he’s doing_ ’ message clear as day. It’s true, too. Han’s the one who’s been doing this for longer, only his cons usually involve staging fistfights, not pretending to be in love with someone. They especially don’t involve pretending _not_ to be in love while pretending to be in love. Han is not a god damned onion, alright? He’s not made to handle this many layers.

 

“We’re already doing it,” Lando replies, smiling like he’s just heard the best joke this side of the Republic, “get with the program or get us killed.”

“And that’s supposed to make me less nervous?”

 

So. Righteous indignation? Not what they’re going for either. Better than the horror Han felt on his face from the get go, but still not what will do the trick.

 

“Come on,” Lando sighs, “it’s not like you’re supposed to declare your love for me in public or anything like that.”

“Well _that_ I’d know how to do,” Han mutters, and doesn’t realize how earnest he’s let the words become until Lando fails to let him go when he tries to keep walking.

 

The look on his friend’s face is…well. It may have featured in a few of Han’s dreams, and some of his nightmares, too. The man is, somehow, completely blindsided by the revelation and, frankly, it’s not like Han can blame him. He himself was completely unprepared for the revelation when it came. Still, just because he showed off his hand like and idiot doesn’t mean he can’t attempt to salvage their friendship.

 

“What?” He asks, too much disbelief in the daring tone of his words, “you don’t think I’m suave enough to pull it off?”

“Han,” Lando replies with utmost serious, one hand resting on the side of Han’s face, “you are the best pilot I’ve ever seen in my entire life. No one could do the things you do in a cockpit.”

“Why, thank you for the compliment,” Han replies, the warmth in his chest loosening his jaw into something more like a real smile.

 

Lando, on the other hand, doesn’t lose the earnest intensity when he continues:

 

“Everywhere else you have all the grace of a drunk Bantha.”

“Hey!”

“Lucky for you,” Lando concludes while his mouth resolves into something fond and unbearably tender, “I happen to think Banthas are adorable.”

 

It’s probably lucky, really, because Han is fairly sure his next expression looks closer to fishes than a human being.

 

In the end, they lose the mark.

 

Neither of them is all that disappointed.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and reviews help me want to keep writing :3


End file.
